Turns out that I didn't have an appointment with Lina, but she had a cancelation and saw me anyway. We discussed the neighbor's inappropriate comments to me and what to say or do. And talked about the biomechanics course that I would really like to do. I could see myself doing this long-term and helping mothers and well anyone who wanted the help.
I'm still in a hang-up about whether to move stateside now or later. I think I am leaning more toward now, myself. But Mika would prefer later. I figure this course would be a good reason to move stateside temporarily to give it a trial run and see how we like it.
I am waffling about this though (the moving now part). It is such a big change and commitment, and we'll be closer to my father and his wife. And that's a bit scary. They are quite judgemental about my choices when it comes to child-rearing, although my dad does a decent job of not saying anything and doing his best to accept (not his wife though).
Also, staying here means putting Vidar in school as I am too afraid to attempt to get homeschooling approved here. I am about 99.9% certain that the schools here would not work for him. There really is no space for individuality in Sweden.
I also realized yesterday while waiting for the train that this sense of comfortability is coming from within me, not because I am finally feeling at ease with living in Sweden. SO I can carry this with me to the USA. It will not go away. There are so many upsides to moving as well -
- AA and DA groups in English and much more accessible,
- RR local groups,
- easier to get the food I need for myself as well as supplements and cheaper!
- My father's and his wife's church community to help support us along with them of course.
- Unschooling and homeschooling support and activities.
- DBT support groups too!
- Much easier to find part time work that I can do with the kids around or in a way to not minimize my time with them as much.
The downsides I can think of are -
- Not so fond of having to use a vehicle if we want to get around quickly,
- or the way they construct their buildings and
- use way too much AC everywhere,
- politics (which also bug me in Sweden)...
Seems the cons list is small for me. I guess really going over is a good idea then. Hmm. Time to start the ball rolling then.
Anyway, while I was in Liljeholmen, I took the T-bana to Zinkensdam and the bus up to Stockholm Södra to buy a bicycle (300 kr) for Vidar. He got too big for the other one. I took my time coming back home - read the book and rested in between walking the bike home up the hill and through the park, behind the school and up the steep hill to our home.
Sadly, I didn't eat any food from the time I left the house (950) until I got back(1440). No snacks other than an apple, and laaate dinner. I will most likely feel this today, Friday, and think I am already as I've been feeling less energetic and quite tired/listless and easily annoyed.
After I got back home, I noticed the neighbor, Göran Persson, was home, so my husband and I went over to him to talk for a bit. I told him that the comments he made left me feeling uncomfortable and that I didn't like it. He said he was just joking but there was no joking when he made those comments. . . I am thinking that he is most likely an alcoholic and has inappropriate bounders and behavior due to all that that involves.
I sat outside for almost the rest of the day, coming inside around 19 to have Mika get me some dinner. Magne had fallen asleep on me and I really enjoyed just being in the moment and the sounds and feel of nature and life all around me. I also finished the 2nd book I had read that day, Vampire Academy. Then I started on the next book, Marked, which I finished before midnight.
So I also went to sleep late. Oi Oi. I seem to be trying to set myself up for instability and a crash. Silly Silly addict-voice. Time to really focus on my food and timings so that I can continue to be clear, especially with such a big life-changing move coming up!
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